Our Behrmann Blog: 2012 Christmas Card

Life According to Kate

Kate: "I smiled all night long so the toothfairy could see my tooth holes. That's why she gave me two dollars!" (09.23.13)
Kate asked me to pull out her tooth so I started to do it. Kate: "Stop!!! I want daddy to do it. Doctors are just smarter than nurses." Ben: "Kate!!!" Kate: "But, you are the smartest Mom in the whole school." (09.15.13)
Karen: "How was school?" Kate: "Fine, but I have to sit by this weird boy that picks his nose." Ben: "You pick your nose sometimes too." Kate: "Yeah, but not at school!" (08.26.13)
While discussing the dead end job hunt...Kate: "Don't worry Dad. Heavenly Father made everybody. He can make them change their minds too." (08.06.13)
Karen: "Will you clean up while I make dinner?" Kate: "But I'm too busy drawing. Real artists never give up." (04.14.13)
Kate (singing): "Ben and (someone ?) sitting in a tree. K. I. S. S. T. U. V." (03.13)
David and I went out last night for the first time in a long time and I put on perfume (for the first time in an even longer time). While first tucking Kate in bed she asked, "What's that smell?" Karen: "Perfume." Kate: "I didn't know you had perfume." Karen: "Yep, I just don't wear it very often." Kate: "But Mom, then the other boys will be attracted to you too. Not just daddy." (03.19.13)
Upset after Ben left for a playdate without her: "But mom, you've just ruined my life. This isn't the life I had planned on. The life I had imagined all along." (03.14.13)
While practicing her reading with me, Kate came to the word "gun." She sounded it out, repeated it and then said, "Well that's just inapproriate for a child." (03.13)
While drying off after her bath Kate pinched both her nipples and said in an annoyed tone, "When are these things gonna start growing?" (03.13)
Getting upset that David would not buy her anything at Lands end, "But Dad, if you would just buy me whatever I want, then I would be happy." (02.13)
After french braiding her hair for church, with a big smile on her face...Kate: "Nobody's going to be able to take their attention off of me!" (01.20.13)
Kate: "I had some firework toots when you left the room!" Karen: "What are those?" Kate:"Really loud ones." (12/04/12)
Kate: "What color skin is our baby going to have?" David: "What do you think?" Kate: "Well it's not going to be brown because she's not from China." Ben: "Kate, Ms. Shang is from China and her skin is not brown!" Kate: "Well, how come Ms. Rahmaan's is?" Ben: "Because she's from India!"
The kids informed me that both of them had lice checks by the nurse at school today. They both claimed to be the only ones in each of their classes that were checked. Karen: "Why did they only check you guys?" Kate: "Maybe they just checked the beautiful kids." (09/11/12)
While bathing Kate I pulled a long piece of hair off of her perineum. She looked at it funny and asked: "What? Does it think I'm a Mom already?"
Kate: "Thunder is just big giants stomping." Ben: "No it isn't Kate. You are just making things up." Kate: "Really, I saw it on the news. I'm smarter than you think Ben." (05.29.12)
Kate: "Mom, you have a big bum." Ben: "Kate, that's not nice to say." Kate: "Fine, it's huge." Ben: "No it's not." Kate: "Fine, it's big and huge!" (02.06.12)
While driving at night, Kate: "The moon keeps following us!" (01.07.12)
Yelling from the bathroom...Kate: "I'm pooping a family in here. There's a mom, a dad, a kid and a baby. There's four of them!" (10.6.11)
Nana sent Ben some boxers. Kate was obviously jealous and asked, "When is Nana going to send me my punchers?" (8.16.11)
After stepping on and smashing some dry cereal she had just spilled on the dining room floor: Kate: "Sorry. I didn't see it. I just wasn't wearing my glasses." She does not wear glasses...ever! (8.14.11)
Kate: "What does grumpy mean?" Karen: "Mad, angry, not in a good mood." Kate: "Oh, like Daddy?" (7.22.11)
While watching a Bare Minerals commercial...very upset, "Mom, they want you to change your skin?" (6.16.11)
Karen: "What am I going to do when you grow up and leave me?" Kate: "You're just going to have to grow up too." (5.21.11)
Annoyed that the gas station dropped their prices 6 cents right after I started filling up I started complaining. Kate: "It's going to be okay Mom. Maybe Ben and I could share some of our money with you." (5.20.11)
After walking into a wall: Kate: "What! I don't want anyone to put a wall there. Put it over there. That hurt!" (01.26.11)
Discovering Kate playing in the bathroom sink... Karen: "What am I going to do with you?" Kate: "You're going to keep me. I'm your best person. Your best kid." (12.20.10)
Karen: "Stop picking your nose." Kate: "But I love to pick my nose." Karen: "It's gross." Kate: (in a voice of defeat) "Thats what my teacher said too."
Attempting to convince Kate to let me braid her hair: Karen: "It will be so pretty. Like a braided pony's tail." Kate: "Well, I am not a horse!"
Karen: "You have skids in your underwear. We need to change them." Kate: While taking them off and seeing for herself...."I didn't do it. Really. It was Ben. I promise." Her eyes were so wide open and she truly, truly believed what she was saying! And even better...Ben looked on with a puzzled face and said, "I don't think I did that?!"
Preface: David's stepmom's nickname is Nana. His dad's is Boo. Kate: While running away from Ben, "Nana. Nana. Boo. Boo. You can't get me."
Karen: "Wash your hands Kate." Kate: "I didn't pee." Karen: "Whenever you touch your private parts you need to wash your hands." Kate: "I don't have private parts." Karen: "You don't have a penis, but you still have private parts" (she has two brothers). Kate: "I have a penis. I have lots of them!" (as she lifts her foot in my direction and curls her toes) It was priceless!
While playing and lifting an object in the air, Kate: "Up, up and in the way!"
After going #2 (in a very, very excited tone) Kate declared: "My bum made a carrot in there!"
Kate: "When I grow up, I am going to be somebody! A baseball hitter."
Kate was not feeling well and laying on the couch, Karen: "Do you want to watch Mulan?" Kate: (in a very upset tone) "NO, only daddy mows the lawn!"
While driving by a water fountain, Kate: "Look its a water mountain."
While waiting for the elevator at the Doctor's office, Kate: "Which alligator we going to ride?"
After seeing me nurse Jacob for the first time, Kate: "Why you letting him eat you?"
Kate: (Speaking to Karen) "Want Daddy come home, you boring."
While making dinner, I started the mixer. Kate yelling above the noise: "Mom, Annoying!"

Life According to Jacob

Life According to Ben

While talking about the upcoming 2nd grade music concert Ben got very sad. After inquiring what was wrong he told us he was worried because he didn't think he should be singing one of the songs. David: "What song is it?" Ben: "You know G.O.D. Bless America." He didn't want to take the Lord's name in vain. He felt much better after we explained it was being used in a patriotic way. So grateful for his tender spirit. (04.09.13)
After telling Ben that David and I got our dinner for free at Outback last night because I had found a large plastic foreign object in my mashed potatoes. Ben: "Mom, you are SOOOO lucky." He's definately our boy. (04.13.13)
Ben: "Mom, can we make a new rule that for every 5 minutes we read, we get $2?" Karen: "Nice try Ben." Ben: "$1?" Karen: "Just pure enjoyment. That's all." (03.20.13)
While changing Jacob's diaper I asked him: "When are you going to stop wearing diapers?" Ben: "Just think Mom, once you get Jacob and then Emily potty trained you won't have to change any more diapers ever." Kate: "Yeah, then it will be our turn to change yours." Ben: "No Kate, we'll make mom change dads. When he gets old and sick." Kate: "Yeah, Ben. Good idea. That would just be too gross." (03.17.13)
On the way home after finishing 2nd place in the pinewood derby, Ben: "There must have been a mix-up?" Where does he get this competitive spirit?" (01.23.13)
While reading scriptures one night, David said "they marched forth." Ben declared, "So that happened 8 days before Jacob's birthday?" Jacob was born on March 12th. (01.07.13)
Today's temperature: 104 with heat index at 121. While helping me carry in the groceries, Ben: "I didn't know my bum could sweat!" (7.22.11)
Ben: "I'm so hot I could hug a snowman!" (4.25.11)
After breaking the news to Ben that it was too late to read lots of books before bed...Ben: "I just wish one thing was perfect in my life." (12.22.10)
Karen: "Who's Mrs. Rider?" Ben: "The insistent principal." (Assistant Principal)
David: "I'm going to be working at night this week and sleeping during the day." Ben: "Oh cool. You are like nocturnal now."
Shortly after saying a family prayer: Ben: "Why did you pray for her?" Karen: "Well, she is a teenager now and sometimes teenagers need extra help choosing the right." Ben: "Oh, does she listen to strange music and have strange friends? That's choosing Satan's side."
Ben: "Don't bug daddy Kate. He's studying. Don't you want him to win his test?"
Ben: "Who designed our house?" Karen: "I have no idea Ben." Ben: "An architect. I am going to be an architect when I get bigger. Then when you get old, I will build you a house and let you live in it."
With his head to Jacob's chest, Ben:"I wish I had a heartoscope!"
Karen: "What color eyes do you think your brother will have?" Kate: "Brown" Ben: "No Kate. They will be blue and then turn to brown. Its called metamorphosis."
While driving to Gettysburg and crossing into Pennsylvania, Ben: "Do they have lots of pencils here?"
While visiting an elderly lady in a classic nursing home today, Ben: "Are there germs here?" Karen: "Probably" Ben: "There are. I can smell them."
Ben: "What if boys had babies and girls had the Priesthood?"
Ben: "I want a Wii for my birthday." Karen: "Oh Ben, Wiis cost lots of money." Ben: "Okay, then I'll just ask Santa for Christmas, he doesn't have to pay for anything!"
While buckling Ben in after church, Ben: "I know church is good for us, but sometimes it sure is boring."
Seconds after Kate pooped in the toilet for the first time...Ben: "Yes! That means we can have a baby now."
As David walked in with the mail on his birthday...Karen: "Did you get any cards?" David: "No." Ben: "Is that because you don't have any friends dad?"
While at the Baltimore Zoo, Ben: "I'm SO glad we moved to Maryland so I could see that goat poop."
Ben requested I stop the car as we pulled out of Rob and Di's driveway leaving Oklahoma. He said he needed to tell Natalee one more thing. I motioned for Natalee to come over, rolled down the window and Ben said, "Expect the unexpected!" Our parting tears turned to laughter.
Breaking the silence while driving in the car on the way home from turning in our pikepass: Ben, "I sure am going to miss this Oklahoma place."
After showing Ben a preview for the "Walking With Dinosaurs" arena spectacular on the computer I asked, "Would you like to go see that show with Daddy?" Ben: "I can't mom." Karen: "Why not?" Ben: "Mom.....we just can't get into the computer."
After watching the video clip of Rob and Sam on the news 2 times: Ben: "Mom, Uncle Rob is a super hero!"
While opening the attic to get down the Christmas tree....Ben: "Mom, is uncle Rob in there? I haven't seen him in a loooong time!" For those of you who don't know Uncle Rob is serving a 15 month deployment in Iraq.
Ben:(While running to the muted TV and pointing to Obama speaking) "That's a rock Obama, mom." Karen: (In shock because we seldom talk politics in our home and never include first names). "Who is he?" Ben: "He tells people what to do and what not to do." Karen: "Oh yeah, like what?" Ben: "Um stuff like, don't play in the mud." Karen: "Did you learn about him at school?" Ben: "Nope, just TV." Ben is a sponge! A good reminder for me to regulate what he absorbs!
The other morning as David was headed out the door he told Ben to give him a hug. He explained that he wouldn't see him until the next day because he was on call at the hospital that night. Ben looked at David with big, wide eyes and said, "Daddy, you get to have a sleepover?" David smiled and said, "Yep." The next day when David returned Ben ran to the door and said, "Daddy did you have a great time at your sleep-over?" We no longer refer to David as being on call in our home. He just gets to go to lots of sleepovers. A much more positive outlook.
Karen: "Can I have one of your reese's pieces?" Ben: "Um, no. They are very special to me...(Pause)...my daddy gave them to me."
Sitting at a stoplight Ben spotted the lady next to us smoking. Ben: "Smoke isn't bad for her body, just mine." Karen: "Yes it is Ben. Its bad for everyone's body." Ben: "How come she is smoking then?" Karen: "Some people don't know that Jesus and Heavenly Father don't want us to smoke." Ben: "Mom (pause).....is she a stranger?" Karen: "Yes. We don't know her." Ben: "Does she have candy?"
While on the phone cancelling a family picture appointment. Karen: "I won't be able to reschedule at this point. My kids have pink eye." A Yelling Ben: "I don't have pink eye. I have red eye and Kate has blue eye." He was correct. His eyes were pretty red and Kate did not yet have it, I just knew she would eventually. Just like David, he doesn't miss a thing.
Kate has learned how to open the DVD player. She scratched Ben's diego movie. In order to prepare him that it might not work anymore I explained to him the situation as he was beginning to watch it. He stopped me mid sentence and said, "If it works, it works. If it doesn't, it doesn't." Now if I can just get him to transfer that attitude to all aspects of his life.
Preface: I recently bought Ben the go fish card game. We have been playing it alot. Today David was looking for the garage door opener when we were in the driveway. We always let Ben open and shut it. He likes to push the botton. David: "Ben do you have the opener?" Ben: "Nope, go fish."
Ben took off his clothes and is running around the front room naked. David walks in the room. Karen: "Put your clothes back on." Ben: "It's okay mom, daddy is one of our people. He can see my bum. He is one of us."
While working on going #2, Ben yelling to me: I'm going to need some raisins in here!"
After finishing his YMCA swim lesson, while walking out of the pool, Ben YELLS to me: "Mom, I didn't even pee in the pool." Apparently he has in the past and now everyone knows it!
After saying a phrase we never say, Karen: "Where did you learn that from?" Ben: "PBS kids, where a kid can be a kid."
While watching TV, Ben: "Mom you are blocking my interview!"
Asking to eat another gobstopper, Ben: "Can I have a go stop?"
Ben had some friends over to play tonight. Karen: "Ben, tell them what you did in your soccer game today." Ben: "I scored a girl."
While upside down doing a headstand at his YMCA tumbling class. Instructor: "I can see your belly button Ben." Ben: "I have a penis too." One of the other mothers told me this yesterday. She said it took awhile for the teacher and all of the moms to control their laughter. I missed it, but can picture it perfectly.
Preface: We don't have cable. We are STILL poor college students. Ben: "Mom, how come Diego doesn't like to come to our TV? He comes to Aunt Dis and Madeleines." I took him to the library to check out some Diego movies. Problem solved.
While playing with toy animals Ben asked them: "Are you done hyper mating?" I believe he was trying to ask if they were done hibernating.
Ben has an Aunt Di from Thailand. Speaking of her today he asked: "Where is my Thai Di?"
Ben: (after several minutes of attempting to go to the bathroom on the toilet): Yelling to me in the kitchen: "Mom, it's not working! My penis must be sleeping."
Karen: "I won't let it touch your chest." (speaking of a cold washrag while wiping his face). Ben: "I don't have a chest. You have a big one, with lots of milk for Kate. Daddy doesn't have one either."
Karen: "Do you like my hair today?" Ben: "It's beautiful, just like the sun."
Karen: "What color are your eyes?" Ben: "White and brown, just like Daddy's underwear."
My OB is Dr. Goff. Ben calls the Dr.'s office the "Dr.'s Goffice."
Nurse Practioner: "Looks like Kate's cord will fall off any day now." Ben: "That's not her cord, that's her penis."
Karen: "Do you love mommy?" Ben: "My love daddy better."